Happy Mother’s Day!
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
“The quickest way for a mother to get her children’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – J.D. Salinger
“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” – Tim Allen
“Dear Mother-in-Law: I don’t need you to teach me how to handle my children. I live with one of yours, and he needs a lot of improvement!” – Rita Rudner
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck
“In the end, mothers are always right. No one else tells the truth.” – Randy Susan Meyers
“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Dorothy, The Golden Girls
“No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” – Tenneva Jordan
“The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” – Jane Sellman
